Humor


Prayer Optimization Service
Prayer optimization service will reward you with the answered prayers you have been yearning for.

Like search engine optimization (SEO), this service will improve the visibility and ranking of your prayer. The better optimized your prayer is the more likely your prayer will be seen and indexed by your deity. Prayer ranking can be improved for a variety of deities, but we recommend focusing on the leading deity in the industry: Yahweh

Some of the key Prayer Optimization (PO) strategies used will include:

Keyword Research

  • Listing your top wishes and needs
  • Using our exclusive PrayWords Keyword tool to find the most highly accepted prayer words related to your wishes and needs
  • Prayer keywords reports

Prayer Optimization

  • Create a prayer based on best keywords
  • Say prayer at optimal times based on prayer traffic reports
  • Say prayer at optimal locations based on Good vs. Evil Location Analytics
  • Avoid duplicate prayer content
  • Avoid keyword stuffing in prayer

Prayer Marketing

  • Follow dogmatic rules which increase deity acceptance
  • Avoid breaking┬ádoctrine┬áthat could upset deity
  • Prayer optimization may require song and dance to increase deity approval

Advanced Prayer Optimization Techniques

  • Avoiding low quality prayer content
  • Using multimedia to increase prayer visibility
  • Prayer outsourcing
  • Sponsored prayers
  • Deity exchange

A prayer that is not optimized runs the risk of becoming diluted and wasted on villains. Don’t let this happen to you. Get Prayer Optimization today!

Christopher Hitchens gives it a go (hat tip to Jack for the link):

From Huffingtonpost.com:

Jon Stewart went after “Fox & Friends” host Gretchen Carlson last night. Saying she plays the “troubled mom, just trying to make sense of this modern country,” Stewart explained Carlson seems to be dumbing herself down in order to connect with an audience that sees intellect as an elitist flaw.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Gretchen Carlson Dumbs Down
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Crisis

From TimesOnline:

Chip fat, dogs’ rear ends, potato chips, factory walls, the foil wrapper of a cider bottle…

God moves in mysterious ways to show his face in even more peculiar places and he’s been exceptionally busy this year.

Inspired by BuzzFeed’s comprehensive round-up of this year’s sightings, here’s Comment Central’s pick of the 10 best objects in which Our Lord (in his infinite wisdom) chose to reveal himself in 2009.

Read the rest of the article here.

9.12 DC TEA PARTY – INTERVIEW B-ROLL

The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Nailed ‘Em – Mormon Church Trespassing
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating

The Vatican recently announced that it will make it easier for disenchanted Anglicans to join the Roman Catholic Church. Below are segments from The Daily Show and Colbert Report regarding this news.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Ecce No Homo
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Crisis
The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Holy Water Under the Bridge – Randall Balmer
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Religion

From Telegraph.co.uk:

A sexually explicit illustrated Book of Genesis by controversial artist Robert Crumb, which features Bible characters having intercourse, has been condemned by religious groups.

Next Page »