‘Tis the season for a lot of glurge to show up in my e-mail inbox. This e-mail forward was particularly corny, but I realized I could improve it with some revisions.
Here is the original:
A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable; and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year – overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don’t forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened, and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed, she couldn’t take it anymore and she stated, ‘Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot.’
From the back of the car, everyone heard a quiet, calm voice respond, ‘Don’t worry, we already crucified Him.’
For the rest of the trip down in the elevator, it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. This year, don’t forget to keep ‘the One who started this whole Christmas thing’ in your every thought, deed, purchase and words. If we all did it, just think of how different this whole world would be.
‘For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son; that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’ (John 3:16)
My revised version:
A woman was out Christmas shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after row of toys and everything else imaginable; and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids.
She was feeling what so many of us feel during the holiday season time of the year – overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all the holiday food and treats, getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping list, making sure we don’t forget anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened, and there was already a crowd in the car. She pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her and all the bags of stuff. When the doors closed, she couldn’t take it anymore and she stated, ‘Whoever started this whole Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot.’
From the back of the car, everyone heard a quiet, calm voice respond, ‘They did. Early Christians used to torture and kill pagans all the time for celebrating their heathen traditions that included things like the x-mas tree, yule log, holly, and mistletoe. Then we Christians stole those pagan symbols and rituals to use at our celebration of Christmas. Now look what God is doing to us for it. We should have never done it and we should make it up to God by killing anyone caught using these heretical symbols!”
For the rest of the trip down in the elevator, it was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. This year, don’t forget to keep ‘the ones who started this whole Christmas thing’ in your every thought, deed, purchase and words. If we could all eliminate these pagan rituals and those who celebrate them, just think of how different this whole world would be.
Jeremiah 10:2-4: “Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.” (KJV).
On December 21st, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Too right folks, remember that when you’re eating your chocolate Santa’s this Winter Solstice engaging in ritualistic reciprocal exchanges to cement social bonds that supposedly some faith healer was strung up by the Romans 2000 years ago to make up for your great great great and so on grandfather eating an apple. Yeah. Just you think about that.